Feminism and parenting done right

Why does this post's title include parenting? I'm not a parent! But in truth, I love reading what intelligent parents have to say.

I've been following this blogger parent on Facebook, and here's his post recently:

Jef Withonef

Against my better judgment I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the purity movement. It’s just bloody horrifying, this idea of “guarding your daughter’s heart” by keeping it yourself, not to mention this notion of making her define herself only how she is viewed either by her husband or her dad.

Lynda likes to joke I’m going to be “that dad,” the one who cleans a gun when Katy brings a boyfriend or girlfriend over. Truth is I’m not. I’m very prepared for what I want to instill in her when she begins to reach physical maturity.

1. That sex is beautiful and fun as hell. So is driving a car and a bunch of other things, and they come with responsibilities. You need to ask yourself if you can handle those. I knew I could be trusted with a car at 16, so I didn’t ask for one. Same with sex. I waited until I knew I was with someone that wouldn’t use me wrong and knew what they were doing.

2. That someone that feels the need to lie, trick, or force you into sex is never going to be the slightest bit interested in your part in it. You might as well be a gym sock as far as they’re concerned.

3. That you should never do something that will make you hate yourself to gain another person’s approval. You are not defined by the approval of others, and anyone who says you are wants to control you.

4. Your body belongs to you. Anyone that doesn’t respect that is an enemy. Run if you can, fight if you can’t, and never let someone convince you asked for or deserved it if all else fails.

5. You cannot be “ruined,” by an act. You can only be ruined if you let shame and self-loathing consume you, and even then there is always a path back into the light.

6. There is no such thing as “the mood” or “killing the moment.” Anyone that thinks taking a second to put on a condom ruins the experience is probably very bad at sex anyway, and you should just leave until they grow-up.

7. You are far more than your decorative worth or status as a sex partner.

8. Treat sex like gymnastics. Wait till you’re ready, go slow, and remember that no one can do a back flip on the first try. Also, porn is acting, not a how-to guide. If you want a how-to guide, ask and I will buy you one. I took a class and everything.

9. Don’t let someone take pictures of you naked unless you are absolutely fine with everyone you know seeing them… or before you’re 18 because that shit’s illegal.

10. In direct connection to the last statement, there is nothing you will ever do that will shock me, disappoint me, or most of all make me stop loving you. Whatever happens, I am your dad, and I’ll stand by you. So talk to me.

Seems a lot easier than throwing a stupid purity ball and buying a ring to me.

I also did a little bit of spreading feminism today, to an extent no where close to affecting a future child's sex life. Or will it? One of the boys had to stand on a slanted platform today for training and afterwards he told me it was really really hard, he thinks it's probably what wearing high heels shoes feels like. I told him yes, that is quite clever, it does look like high heel shoes and by god, do high heels shoes hurt (disclaimer: they don't always hurt, but they can hurt a lot), buddy, so when you have a girlfriend, remember to tell her that you know how painful wearing high heels can be and that you love her, high heels or not!